Blogger Confession: Public Statements, Using Your Platform, & Victim Blaming (UPDATED)

Posted January 24, 2016 by Felicia S in Blogger Confession / 42 Comments

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Purchased from iStockphoto

NOTE: I am not perfect. I have done things to people that required major apologizing. I have stuck by friends and defended them only to find out I shouldn’t have. I have done the opposite. All of those times, I have had to apologize. Sometimes the apology was enough and sometimes I wasn’t forgiven. Sometimes the apology was really a non-apology just to get me out of a tight space and it wasn’t until later that I realized the apology had more to do with me than the person who deserved it. So all of the thoughts, opinions, and views below are MY OWN! You are free to disagree with me. As you will see below, I have already had many that did!

Timeline

Unless you have been disconnected from the internet the past week (which if you have I am a tad bit jealous) then you have probably heard about why Phil Gigante is not narrating Karen Marie Moning’s newest Fever series book. I want to start there because when I heard there were new narrators, I was curious too. Then a friend of mine pointed to an article : Phil Gigante pleads guilty to accosting a child for immoral purposes, possession of child sexually abusive material.  I was actually proud of Karen and her publishers for using someone else for the narration because honestly they could have:

  • The investigation into Phil began in Jan 2015
  • Phil was charged in July 2015
  • Phil plead guilty in October 2015 (he was sentenced to 4 months in jail and 3 months home monitoring)
  • Phil is a registered Tier 2 Sex Offender until October 2040
  • Phil did not start his incarceration date until: 2016-01-13 (that is listed on on his sex offender registration)

 

So yep! I was PROUD of Ms. Moning. She and her publisher chose not to go with Phil before any of us had a clue about what was going on. Did she have too? NOPE! Could they have probably squeezed it in? YEP! I mean he didn’t even enter jail until last week–yeah he was probably busy with courts, family, and stuff but in my eyes they chose to do the right thing before we even knew.

That was until Jan 20th when she stood up for him, defending him, and actively silenced those who spoke out against him.  Go look at the posts I have linked down below.  I WAS FLOORED!  Even her apology on the 22nd was lacking IMHO. Enough so that I did something I have only done a handful times (drama llama is not my thing)–I publicly got involved in a drama on the internet. The only other time I did this was during #GamerGate and for 2 months after that I got nasty email/FB Messages. So I knew what I was wading into and accept the consequences of it wholly (which so far has been 5 “other” messages in my FB box–so not that bad). I spent time (and so did my friends) trying to explain why we felt there needed to be more said (not about the case but specifically about the comments). I will get to that down below and why I decided to write a blog post–which likely means I will get far more than 5 FB other messages *sigh*….

Public Statements

Enough people have written on the bulk of what happened already and I think they did a WONDERFUL job:

Many more have come forward too (I am super proud of them) with reasons not to Victim Blame and why they chose to speak out:

I am here to write about what disturbed me about this whole mess!

Public Statements

Right or Wrong when you become of a public figure of any caliber, there is a certain amount of scrutiny that comes with that position. Anything you say, do, or even react too will probably be scrutinized by at least someone and more likely more than just one someone. Is it fair? Probably Not! However, unless you have been under a rock for the last 10 years while the internet and “as it happens news” has bloomed into the norm not the exception–you can’t really claim ignorance. If people want to speak out on something, they no longer have to organize a protest, write letters and send them through the mail, or make phone calls. They can immediately be heard! This is both good and bad. Information can change, more facts can be found, and things can change on a dime. That is why if you are in the public eye, you have to know your public statements will not only be seen but SCREENSHOTS, INTERNET HISTORY, and Copy/Paste live forever. I am not saying not to speak publicly about things you believe in BUT be sure that you are willing to suffer the fall out from it. Guarantee even if you are on the smallest side of being a public figure (aka 2 months of emails over #GamerGate) that you will have consequences (they can be good and bad).

In this particular case, there were two statements made by Moning. The first in support and the second withdrawing support.  I actually really appreciated that she made a statement about not using Phil in future recordings of her series. If she would have stopped there, I might never have gotten upset to the point of speaking out. Sure there were comments, actions, and other deplorable things going on in the original post that made me mad. There was active hiding of disagreeing POVs, outright Victim Shaming (by fans not KMM), and insinuation  by KMM that she knew more and her judgement should be trusted above the courts.

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So after all of that I would have been OK (not happy) with: I am no longer going to use Phil as the narrator for my Fever Books. However she went on to add: “I did not have all of my facts straight and I apologize profusely for my post.”  There are two things about that statement that disturb me:

  1. She was actively hiding/deleting facts from the original thread
  2. She said she knew more than was public knowledge–insinuating that she knew more than the articles people were referring to which were the facts that we all kept referencing.

Scroll back up to that timeline for a minute. Done? I don’t know about you but no new information came out in the 2 days between original and follow up sttaement except maybe this is a PR Nightmare (I am a cynic and it is the only thing I can see). So in this case less would have been more! So let’s get to where my real rub lies…

Using your Platform

Karen Marie Moning had an excellent opportunity during her second statement (and subsequent) posts to use her platform to address some things that were going on in the comment section of her very own page. Even owning up to that she may have instigated the flames by implying she knew more. She had a chance to simply state: In my original supporting of Phil, I may have inadvertently implied through statements that there was more to the case than public knowledge, that the child in this case was responsible. I did not mean to imply this (see I let her off the hook) and do not support Victim blaming/bashing. Look how simple that would have been and I guarantee the current comments in her apology thread would have been way easier to stomach. She didn’t use her platform for that, which is totally her choice but by not doing that she has allowed rampant Victim blaming/shaming to live in the comments section. Some comments by her fans have made my stomach roll. There was one victim in this case: a 14 year old girl. That should have never been brought into question. At the very least, after it was–that SHOULD HAVE BEEN CORRECTED.

So let’s get this straight: I don’t blame KMM for her support of her friend. I certainly don’t blame her for his actions (those are HIS TO OWN).  The reason I will no longer read her books is simply based on her actions alone. As I said in my FB comment: When you know better, you do better. If you know that your statements (whether they were meant to imply the victim was to blame or not) made people blame the victim, then you needed to do better in stopping that. I don’t hold her responsible for her fans victim blaming but I feel she had a responsiblity to say that it IS NOT OK. If you were going to be active in that first thread, then you needed to be just as responsible in the 2nd thread. I am not claiming to know the intent behind her original statements but read through the apology thread and you will see the clear consequences of her original statement.

Victim Blaming

Finally, stepping away from this specific case (not entirely) but the most disturbing part of this for me (and many others) has been the outright Victim Blaming/Bashing/Questioning. It isn’t just in this case, we have seen it all over. Rapes on college campus: she was at the party, she drank, she put herself in that situation by walking alone at night. Young Women and Men (below the age of 18): they dress to sexy, they “entice” older adults, they “flaunt” their bodies.

When did we come to a place in the world where somehow the person doing the act became the victim. They just couldn’t help themselves! They only took what was asked for! He is only a man!

If I was a man, I would be insulted that you would think I am not responsible for my own actions.

As a woman, I am insulted that most of this seems to come from other women.

I don’t get that thinking at all. If you have been lucky to go through life never being a sexual victim, never knowing one, or never having to protect someone from being one–then you are lucky. You probably need to go out and watch the billion documentaries on Sexual Victims and the aftermath. However, for those that have either been a victim or close to someone who is–let me tell you frankly that it is NOT THEIR FAULT! It doesn’t matter what they were wearing, where they were, or previous things that they have done. The person who violated their body, mind, and soul is to blame. End of Story!

Wrap-UP

This is the longest post I have ever written. However, this was my problem with the whole mess and why I chose to speak out. I am quite OK with the consequences of using my platform for this. I survived 2 months of #gamergate fallout. I will survive some people thinking “I am beating a dead horse”.  I returned my copy of Feverborn. I will not be posting a review here (I did on goodreads because I did read 150 pages before all this happened).  I will never listen to another Phil Gigante audiobook. These are my choices and certainly not ones that I expect you to do. What you choose to watch, listen, and read is up to you.  I am more disturbed by the continuing conversation around the Victim than the supporting of artist that disappoint us.  I do feel that there is a lesson to be learned from all of this for all of us. It is just whether you choose to see it or not!

UPDATED BECAUSE I GOT 2 Emails that were wondering why I care –and don’t I realize this makes me target). I don’t like putting my life out there but in this case I am willing.

While this is addressing the KMM thing–I want to point out that it isn’t entirely about that. It is about responsibility too. I was a victim of date rape at one time so this whole thing is a trigger for me. I was told when I went in to report it that because I had slept with the man previously (we had broken up) and went to drinks with him and friends that night–there was no chance that it would go to court. There was no way to prove my side and that I would only be shamed in the process. I walked out without filing charges. I was younger, scared, and frankly pissed that I was stupid enough to trust him. I have other close relations that were victims of childhood sexual crimes. Since this is trigger inducing for many of us–it is why we can’t just “move on”.

Writing this post made me feel better and now I feel like I can just not engage anymore (oh I will engage on my own post but I have moved away from hers).

In the end, a beloved narrator is now a perpetrator of a heinous act against a child. I don’t care that they were just pictures. I don’t care that they were just messages. They were inappropriate and illegal. They were also a total slap in the face to his family, fans, and friends. There are lots of victims in this story: the 14 year old girl (first and foremost), his wife, their kids, and those surrounding both families that had no clue. Phil Gigante is NOT is a victim. He plead guilty (not no contest) and will be a registered Tier 2 sex offender until 2040. Implying that he is not responsible is a slap in the face to the victims of this crime.

So for those 2 that wanted to know “why I care” this is why! Go ahead make me a target. I have a thick skin and can handle it.

 

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Felicia S

Felicia is just your average gal from Texas that loves Audiobooks and Libraries with a passion! She can wine them, dine them, and love them forever. Her eclectic reading tastes include: Cozy Mysteries, Thrillers, Swoon-Worthy Romance of all kinds, Zombies, Urban Fantasy, Historical Fiction, and the occasional YA read.

During her non-reading time you can find her hanging with her rescue furr children named after book characters: Lizzie a beautiful cattle dog mix (Pound Pup), Cinder a beautiful Shep/Pitt mix (Pound Pup), and Minerva a beautiful Shep/Pitt mix (Foster Fail). Gathering with friends and family, attending conventions, watching movies/tv shows, rooting for the 49rs, and crocheting.

If you want to follow her DIY, Health, and Life adventures check out Mess to Best

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42 responses to “Blogger Confession: Public Statements, Using Your Platform, & Victim Blaming (UPDATED)

  1. Pamela @SpazP

    THANKKKKK YOUUUUUUUU!!!! Thank you so so so so so much for posting this. It has made me feel super nervous putting myself out there speaking out against this as well. And after seeing the “Maniacs” go after my reviews, as well as a plethora of sudden 1 star reviews towards authors who have also spoken out, I am rightly concerned. However, I think it is very very important for people to KNOW the facts, including how KMM’s silence since her “apology”, allowing her FB post comments to come a waste wasteland of “you have to hear both sides!” pedo apologia. I will not forget, and I will not stop talking about it. And I will be sure to recirculate these posts when her next release comes out.
    Thank you for understanding the deeply problematic nuances in this situation, and for expressing them in a way I can’t. You speak for me on this, completely.

    • Yes it is scary! To be honest the reason it took me so long to make this post is because wading in on this platform was something I had to think about. However, I felt people were missing the point so I wanted to say my piece. Plus, I had to get off that comment thread cause it was making me ill. I check to see if she has made a follow up statement but unfortunately I don’t think that will ever come.

  2. First off, *hugs*. I’m so sorry that happened to you and that you were treated that way. Horrible.
    Second, I watched all that unfold, completely agog. I mean, I get supporting your friend. I get that you don’t want to think the worst of people. But when s*it happens and the truth comes out, own up to it. Apologize. It’s really not that hard.

    • Thanks! It was awhile ago and to be honest I think it made me a stronger person. Took a long time to get there but that process taught me a lot.

      OMG the whole mess was really a spotlight on some the worst “rape apologist” ever. Plus a shining example of not using your position for good. Drives me NUTS!

  3. Oh, my! I have certainly been living under a rock because I knew nothing and have heard nothing of this at all. I just received my hard copy of Feverborn in the mail on release day. I have a bit of catching up to do in the series before I can even read it. Now, for my opinion because of course, I have one. I don’t know the whole story; only what I’ve read in your post, but I gathered enough info to have a “generalized” opinion.

    First, I’m so sorry for what you and your family endured to only have it dismissed, for lack of a better word. That is NOT acceptable. Whether one is fourteen or thirty, no one other than the perpetrator is to blame for the action. A fourteen year old has the mental capacity and mind of a child. A grown man does not. I don’t care what the child did or didn’t do, any inappropriate actions of any male or female is not the child’s fault. KMM is another matter altogether that I don’t want to get into because I don’t know the whole story, but I’m quite livid that a victim of sexual predation has or might have been blamed for an offense against him/her. I am a bit confused as to whether or not KMM will use him in the future. On one comment, she will no longer use him; on another comment, she will use in the future. Typo or change of mind? This is such a hot button topic, and I applaud you for speaking your mind, which everyone has the right to do. You also did so knowing the consequences, as I’m sure KMM did as well. The victim blaming makes me so sad for our society and humanity as to just how far we have NOT come but have digressed into an entitled state. I’m shaking my head at the whole thing in astonishment. I do hope that justice is served and by justice, I mean that the guilty will be found as such and punished accordingly to the full extent of the law. I hope that peace and few scars will fall on the child in this mess.

    • She is not going to use in the future. That was the retraction of support that she will not use him in the future.

      Phil plead guilty and is currently in jail. He plead down to 4 months and 3 months on tether at home. He will be registered till 2040 though so his punishment has been set.

      Victim Blaming in general in this world is really sad. It is as if we have a hard time just saying “the perp could help it and is responsible”. It seems easier for people to blame the victim. *sigh*

  4. I almost missed this post but glad I saw it.

    First… huge ((HUGS)) and I am sorry that you went through that horrible experience (I know those words don’t even touch what you went through so forgive me). That shouldn’t happen to anyone and when it does no one should EVER blame the victim. However, that isn’t the society we live in.

    I didn’t say anything on her post or on my blog because what I want to say has been said already and been said better than I would have. I didn’t blame her for sticking up for a friend. I actually got that part and how when things were going fast and furious she would misspeak and not say the right thing (yes, I do see that you have said that also). I didn’t really get upset until I saw the trust me or don’t speech (which I saw later on another blog post’s screen cap). That was troubling and yes, while she herself didn’t blame the victim, she opened the door wide open and invited the blame to come. That is what happened and what is happening. I am not too upset that she hasn’t addressed this yet and I remain hopeful that she does address it. I would hope that she took time before saying something since responding immediately is what got her in hot water. However, I still think it does need to be sooner rather than much later. And I do think it needs to be said.

    No matter what people feel has happened in this incident it is Phil’s fault. Period. He’s the adult in the situation. He bears the responsibility morally, legally, and in reality. She was 14. She may say that she knew what she was doing, but this is a falsehood. Her brain hasn’t even matured yet. Her experience and ability to know what was right and wrong in this situation is severely lacking. She has shown that she wasn’t mature enough to know better… and it shouldn’t be expected for her to know under ANY circumstance. She is NOT to blame no matter what scenario people play out. It wasn’t physical. So what? Predators use those same methods Phil did in grooming their victim. He was in possession of her pictures that was inappropriate. He sent inappropriate pictures. This has an affect on a young girl. Make no mistake. I’ve worked with kids in these kind of situations and all of them end up feeling responsible for what happened even when they don’t understand it fully. Additionally they often don’t even understand the effect of it until much later in life. They don’t have the capacity to really think this out. Do not add to their guilt. Do not make them responsible for adult issues. They aren’t adults and shouldn’t be seen in that light. Hm… can you tell I feel strongly about this? I know you said what I said here but I just wanted you to know that I agree with you with gusto apparently. LOL

    • Thank you!

      I am holding out hope that she follows up her statement addressing the comments in the apology thread. I want to believe that will happen.

      I think people just forget what it is like to be 14. Such an awkward age and even if she was the most mature 14 year old EVER—she deserves to be protected from 49 year old men.

  5. I think everyone has pretty much already said what I think but a few things to add…

    a) For people who have said we don’t know the whole story – if any of the arguments start with *she did x,y,z* the you can stop right there.

    b) Same with – it wasn’t physical, it was just FB messaging, pictures etc….Still illegal with an underage minor

    c) Everything boils down to a 14 year old girl vs a 4o something old man. He plead guilty. He is serving time.

    d) Predators/abusers are master manipulators. That’s how they get away with it for so long. I have been a witness to abuse and still had to hear how the victims were lying.

    I think the problem with that thread was that KMM defended him – which is her right – but then removed all reference to facts, then implied she knew more and left any comments disparaging/questioning the victim while removing anything that didn’t support her opinion.

    • Then in your apology saying you didn’t know better.

      I am just really saddened with our book community. I would have expected better of us since so many of our stories are based on raising up women instead of tearing them down. This includes children and all victims. Just incredibly sad!

  6. Great post Felicia. I was disgusted when I learned that he had been charged and pled guilty. I have not listened to him, and thought it was “breaking news”. Then I saw what KMM was saying, and even after the apology, the victim bashing comments stayed on her thread. I was pretty disgusted. Needless to say, I will not be finishing Burned and Feverborn has already been returned.

    Jonetta did remind me of the whole Dani / Ryodan thing with Iced. I remember feeling kind of weirded out about that relationship.

    This whole situation is messed up. I’m glad you spoke up in support for all of those that have suffered and are probably hurting if they are seeing these threads. Those that have suffered through these ordeals are scared enough, but to have those fears validated all over the internet make it even less likely that some victim will report what happened to them. The few people I did tell were not the most supportive of my pain, and the feeling of what happened to me possibly being my own fault has kept me silent since. People shouldn’t feel that way.

    Anyway, rambling girl here. Thank you for being the voice that can help victims feel a little more confident that they are NOT at fault.

    • First *HUGS* that feeling of “my fault” is the hardest part to get through. I always like to say I am a survivor but I still have moments of doubt on whether it was my fault. Logically I know it is isn’t and any other person who is a victim—It is not their fault either.

      My initial response to the two was “Why don’t you” but then one responded back. It is sad that people think we can only care if we have been through it. That is so far from the case, I don’t even know where to begin. If we all only cared about stuff that we went through then the world would be a sorrier place than it is. You have to care to make change. So yep, I got all soap boxy LOL

  7. Lea

    As I commented on your FB post,
    I think it’s awesome you are standing up for something you believe in.
    I am so sorry you were raped and treated so poorly afterward. That makes me feel irate. Quite frankly, a perfectly acceptable response would be, why don’t THEY care? If no one cares about things, except what happens to them, it’s a really sh$&ty world. I hope you get more positive comments than negative (and wow I cannot imagine what you got from GamerGate, those people are scary!).

    • That was my initial response but one of them responded back. I realized that if two people thought that way what about those that were sitting there going “dismiss”. You don’t have to go through it to care! You shouldn’t have to go through it to care! I certainly wouldn’t wish it anyone just so they would care. You hit on the head–it would be a really sh*tty world if we only cared about things that we had been through.

      (Yes GamerGate was scary but just as disturbing as far as acts towards women. Far more intimidating than this–mostly cause at least in this case hacking is probably not a worry)

  8. Thanks for posting this, I hadn’t heard of this incident and am glad to cross this series off my list, given my audiobook addiction I’ll have to check for this narrator on my list. It’s vital that we as a culture tell victims we hear them and believe them, both this victim and any others who read this post <3.

    • He is pretty prolific so there probably is a chance you have run across him. It really is sad because he is an outstanding talent. Talent that evidently was blessed on the wrong person.

  9. You did a wonderful post and I applaud your speaking up on this issue. To be honest, if it wasn’t for you and other bloggers, I would never have heard about this. (Yes, I have been mostly disconnected from the internet the last couple of weeks.) To be honest, I did not like the Fever series from the get go and only listened to it to see what all the fuss was about. (Peer pressure) I had no plans to return to that world after reading Iced. However, now I have no desire to listen to Phil’s work either. I just can’t see myself being part of a fan base that thinks it’s appropriate to victim shame and victim bash a 14 year old girl. Whether you personally think she’s innocent or not. It’s not our place to judge, and unfortunately, that’s exactly what they are doing, trying that child in the court of public opinion. Shame on every last one of them.

    • A lot of people hadn’t heard of it, including me till this week and I keep up with audiobook news. It just wasn’t being talked about because it really isn’t a great topic. He is pretty prolific–there are now Heather Graham and Christine Feehan books I can’t listen too.

      Yes shame on them. I am just amazed at the lack of empathy and a little saddened too.

  10. Nicely said! As someone who has only read one book in this series and had planned to read more… I definitely have been put off with this series thanks to all of this! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

    • It really is just sad all around. I may not have liked Burned but I had Feverborn. She builds fantastic worlds but alas I just can’t. I firmly believe in putting my money where my heart is.

  11. I haven’t read KMM or listened to this narrator, but I’m glad I haven’t. I followed the post on Facebook. Ugh, sadly, the world never ceases to amaze me. I’m glad you posted this.

    ((hugs))

  12. And yet another moment where I’m so glad that I live under that rock lol. I haven’t heard about this situation, but I intentionally keep my social media exposure to almost nothing (no twitter, no fb etc). Reading through this post though, it sounds like yet another case of an author behaving badly. I don’t listen to audio books nor have read this author’s work (I’m kind of over the whole PNR scene). But, authors are human and they make stupid mistakes just like the rest of us. It’s how they handle the mistake after it’s been made that makes the difference to me. Sounds like Moning hasn’t responded appropriately after the fact, which is sad.

    • It was author behaving badly followed by not really behaving any better during the apology. We all make mistakes but how we own up to them really determines the type of person that we are 🙂

  13. Thank you for writing this post, Felicia. I had heard about him being charged, but I missed the part where KMM still supported him. Horrible.

  14. Bec

    I don’t believe I have ever come across such public defence of a convicted paedophile, that in itself is beyond comprehension, and to what end?
    All so unfortunate for those who really suffered – the child and her family. Is it possible they could have escaped all this social media discussion? I hope so, if they were exposed to all this it would be like rubbing salt into a wound.

    • It was insane. I get that he was a beloved performer but at some point you have to realize that he was also evidently a sick individual. No amount of talent can make up for that. I doubt that the child will escape it since 14 years old live online…and that really is the saddest part of all.

  15. What great insights you have here!!! I loved that you did a post on this, because I think its really important to stand up for what you think is right, no matter the fall out. I am still debating what to do about all the audiobooks that I own that Phil Gigante has narrated. I probably will just never listen to them again. But I am content with reading those books in print format. One of my biggest pet peeves in life is victim bashing especially when it comes to rape. It is NEVER okay to assault anyone, and it doesn’t matter what they are wearing. That is the worst excuse ever. I mean honestly. There is no excuse for rape and I never follow the whole “he is a man so its okay…they have urges” but you know….men have brains. They are just as responsible for their actions as anyone elses. I remember in my area, a religious leader said it was the woman’s fault if she is raped especially if she is dressed in a certain way. I swear I wanted to go out and punch him for saying that nonsense. But in reality there are some people out there that think that way and its completely wrong. I lost my respect for KMM this past week. Not for supporting her friend, I understand that. But for victim shaming, there is no reason for it and it’s wrong. And quite frankly her updated statement I frankly don’t believe a word of it. Mostly because when you compare her earlier statement to her latest statement—you can tell what is really the truth. Its also why I really respect those authors who have made statements in defense of the victim and made their opinion clear. Great post.

    • I donated mine to the library. I hate that it is still giving his work exposure especially to those that don’t know what he did. On the other hand, I can’t decide for others what to read or listen. My audible ones will just sit on my account never to be listened to again. I am thinking of writing audible and asking them to remove them from my account.

      I don’t believe her statement either–mostly because of the timeline. However, I did gain a lot of respect for those willing to speak out 🙂

  16. *Applauds*
    Very well said, Felicia! I debated doing a full post on this, but ended up only linking to the bibliodaze article and explain that I have returned my copy of Feverborn for refund in my Sunday post today. I felt sick when I read the comments about ‘you know the type of girl’ or ‘where were her parents?’ Parents aren’t omnipresent nor omniscient, and all we can do is do our best to raise our children right. And if we can’t make some mistakes when we are teens, when can we do that? The thing is that teens and children should always be safe from adults preying on them – sexually or otherwise!
    After I returned my feverborn kindle book, I also went to audible, and I was able to return all but one book (two days too late as per their 12 month policy) and that actually made me feel a small kind of satisfaction. Is that mean of me? Maybe. Am I happy to know that I am not supporting someone who didn’t see a problem with victim blaming, or who hid all those posts pointing to the public records of Gigante’s arrest and plea? Yes!
    Again, I am so happy you took the time to write down your thoughts about this, Felicia, because it’s very important to use our small platforms for good! *hugs*

    • In one article I read it was her mom that found out what was going by logging and doing a periodical check of her child’s FB account. So her mom was doing her job and as you said, teenagers are going to push boundaries. It is a weird age. It was those adults that preyed on her that are to fault. I just wish other people would see it that way. I think we are quick to forget that awkward not a kid, not an adult phase that is teenagedom.

      Same with me with Burned–it was like a few days too late. I am thinking of writing them asking them to delete his works from my library though. I am ok not getting credits back but I don’t want them in my library.

      • But even if her mom hadn’t found this out, that doesn’t mean it would have been in any way the mom’s ‘fault’. At least the mother is on her daughter’s side through this, which is kind of comforting, even if the situation is disgusting.
        And yes, those teenage years, when we think we’re pretty much invincible, immortal, and know it all. While we actually don’t know much, and when so many dangers are lurking in the shadows – and in broad daylight.
        Maybe I’ll ask them to just delete it from my shelf, too, that’s possible with kindle books.
        *hugs*

  17. Great post Felicia. I’m quite amazed at the crazy that is going on with the last post on KMM’s FB page. There is still a huge amount of victim blaming and even bashing authors who have spoken out about this. What is wrong with this society that we think that a 14 year old can coerce a 49 year old? I bought two Gigante books from audible last year and I returned both. One I had not listened to yet. I wouldn’t be able to. I will never listen to him again. I feel for any author who already had him narrate a book that hasn’t bee released yet.

    • I think it is worse than the original. Though to be fair she was deleting that first group faster than I could read them. I put in The Hidden this weekend only to realize he narrated it so I drove it to the library *sigh*. I just can’t. It sounded dirty!

  18. I have been one of those living under a rock apparently, because your post is the first one I read about it. I have read the linked articles now. I don’t do audiobooks, as you know, so not listening to Phil is not an issue for me. I do have a question, “accosting a child for immoral purposes”. What does it actually mean? Is that rape? or touching, or what?
    But that is not your post. Your post is an author abusing her influence on her fans, or trying to. I never read Iced, after reading about young Dani and her ancient lover. I just could not stomach that. So to me, immediately, comes to mind, she writes about grown man lusting after a child, so she thinks there is nothing wrong with that in reality, and that is why she is defending this Phil person in the first place.

    As an author, you would think KMM would know how to write an apology and to know the consequences of her actions.

    • He traded pictures and messages on FB with a 14 year old girl.

      When I read Iced I either blocked that or didn’t get the “romance” vibe but yes if I think back it may have been there.

      You would think but evidently the art is not one she possesses.

  19. Really, really grateful for this post. In addition to having your insightful perspective, you’ve provided an excellent chronology of events. And, you’ve linked the wonderful posts of other bloggers on the situation.

    One other thing I’ll add…

    I was bothered by Iced, particularly Moning’s reaction to those criticizing it for the undertones of grown men lusting after a 14-year old. I remember her being a bit salty at those who inferred something was “off” and inappropriate. While I hadn’t inferred this at first blush, I could see their points of view. Moning’s attitude never set well with me. Perhaps she’s a bit tone deaf on the issue and it was my first thought when I saw her defense of Gigante’s guilty plea.

    I’m actually done with the author. I felt Burned was an angry reaction to her fans criticisms of Iced. The series seems to be adrift and I’d decided to discontinue reading future books anyway. Her recent actions have only confirmed, in my mind, it was the right thing for me to do.

    • You know when I read ICED I didn’t pick up that but I think because I deliberately block it out. Now that I think back, it probably was there. I just liked it being about Dani and her unique personality but Christians/Ryo’s fascination with her was pervy. You are right!